5 Myths about trauma therapy

As a trauma therapist I am often asked what it is like to start and participate in trauma therapy. What I have noticed is that there are so many thoughts running through people’s heads about what it means to have experienced trauma and what it means to heal. These thoughts may create a barrier to starting trauma therapy. My hope is that by the time you are finished reading this blog you will have a clearer understanding of the work and pace of trauma therapy.  

Myth # 1: Needing trauma therapy means that you have failed.

By the time people reach my virtual couch, they feel like they have failed because they have exhausted all their other resources to heal. Or they feel that “time heals all wounds” would be true to their experience, but they never felt relief. They are tired of struggling and they have been dealing with triggers, flashbacks, strained relationships, and trauma memories for too long.

Admitting you have experienced something so big you can’t move forward is hard for anyone! Me included. But this does not mean that you have failed.

All you have to do is watch the news for a few minutes to see that there are some pretty crazy things going on in the world today. And whether you are just witnessing these things or personally experiencing them- it is difficult to exist in our world and not be touched by trauma. If you live long enough your chances of experiencing a traumatic event greatly increase. This is not meant to be discouraging, but it is a reality of the world we live in.

 What is trauma anyway?

Trauma can be defined as something that happened too fast, something that was too much, or something that happened too soon. As a result, your body was caught off guard and was not able to adjust like it did in other circumstances where unfortunate things happened. From my perspective it is helpful to think of trauma from this lens because it takes the stigma out of it. Everyone has or will experience something like this. You are not alone! You have not failed because you need trauma therapy.

Myth # 2: Trauma work begins in the first session.

By the time people have reached my virtual couch, they wanted to feel better yesterday. They are eager to begin the work and dive right in. Sorry to be the one to tell you, but more often than not this ends badly. Diving into the trauma too quickly can end up retraumatizing someone. That is not what we want to do! My goal is to create a safe space for the client to explore and resolve the trauma so they can know what it means to put the experience behind them. This happens once certain skills are in place and trust is built.

On my first meeting with someone I set one important ground rule. The client has freedom and choice not to answer any question that is asked during our time together, no questions asked. The client’s choice is important- it guides the work. I want my clients to come out of every session feeling empowered and assured that their voice matters.

If possible, I will get some information about whether the trauma happened in childhood or in adulthood, but I do not go into the details of what happened. As the therapist it is my job to teach my clients coping skills to manage the emotions and sensations that will come up as trauma is discussed and processed. Most people don’t have these skills in the first session (if they did, they probably wouldn’t need to talk to someone like me). Most of our time during the session will be spent building trust, exploring what types of coping skills they have found helpful, while also looking into the future and exploring what life may look like posttherapy. This gives us a roadmap for where the work will take us over the course of the sessions.

Myth # 3: Every session will be deep, trauma work.

It would be hard to continue with therapy week after week if all that was talked about was trauma. Trauma work is heavy! It is helpful to have sessions or part of the session focus on “lighter” topics. Trauma work is a delicate dance of “dipping your toe” into the trauma and using coping skills to calm your mind and body. During these lighter moments coping skills, practicing skill building, or humor can be helpful. I like to bring these things into my sessions, when appropriate of course, because it does help lighten the mood or solidify points that are being addressed within the sessions.

One of the most important reasons to focus on other things, in my opinion, is because you are more than what happened to you. I have found that people can get lost in what they have experienced, but therapy gives people a safe place to explore new possibilities and reconnect with important, forgotten identities. Often trauma work is about reclaiming what was lost. From my experience this is born from diving into the trauma and beginning the healing process. Healing creates this important space that needs to be nurtured and cultivated so you can experience life beyond the trauma.

Myth # 4: You can force yourself to heal.

“You can bring a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink!” Therapy is the exact same way. You can attend therapy every week, have the best therapist, and say that you want to heal while still struggling to fully lean into the process. Trauma therapy is not something that can be approached the same way as other things on your to-do list. Timing, readiness, and safety are important and essential to the work.

From my experience there are tons of reasons why people may be hesitant to heal even though they know it is in their best interest. I have found that deep down there is a fear around “what if things are different,” “what happens when I face what happened,” or “what if my relationships change.” These fears are totally normal! The changes that someone makes will shift the dynamics in their world. Sometimes these changes are known and sometimes they are unforeseen. My job is to be curious and help my clients sort through these dilemmas so that they can accomplish their goals and move forward.  

Myth # 5: The more you talk about the trauma the closer you will be to healing.

I used to believe that you could talk through things and completely resolve trauma. From working with my clients, I was able to witness that they could talk about what happened more easily, but only if they disconnected from what was happening in their body. When they brought their attention to their body, they would get overwhelmed and try to shut their emotions down. This was similar to the way they behaved outside of session because in order to get through their day they needed to disconnect from their body in similar ways.

I have learned that talking is a great way to lay the foundation for healing, but it doesn’t address all the channels trauma is stored in. Trauma does have a mental component, but it is also stored in the body in the form of different sensations that you can feel, heal, and see. Without addressing these body sensations, it can be hard to feel like you have left the past in the past. Therefore, the body needs to be a part of the healing process so that your body can know that it is safe when you are safe.

How to incorporate the body into trauma therapy.

There are several ways that you can incorporate the body into your recovery from trauma. This list is not exhaustive, but a brief description of some common modalities that can be utilized in addition to talk therapy.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR allows your brain to do the healing and identify the things keeping you stuck in trauma cycles. Through the use of bilateral stimulation, EMDR can help you establish a new relationship to what you have experienced so that you are no longer plagued with flashbacks, body sensations, and the negative impact of trauma memories. You can learn more about EMDR by visiting the EMDR International Association’s website.

Somatic Experiencing (SE)

SE helps people identify patterns of fight, flight, and freeze so that the client can resolve trauma symptoms. It is a multidisciplinary approach that helps people release energy that was not able to be released when they were placed in dangerous situations. The goal is to help clients tolerate difficult body sensations and suppressed emotions. You can learn more about Somatic Experiencing by visiting their website.

Sensorimotor Psychotherapy (SP)

SP is a holistic modality that addresses trauma and attachment issues. SP works with the increased activation that occurs after experiencing trauma and the negative beliefs that get formed from negative childhood experiences. The goal is to help the client establish safety and stabilization so they can then process what they have experienced and integrate what they have learned. You can learn more about Sensorimotor Psychotherapy by visiting their website.  

Ready to start trauma therapy? Let’s get started!

Hey there! I’m Amber, a licensed psychotherapist and certified EMDR therapist. I help professional women in California, Georgia, and Florida resolve negative childhood experiences so they can learn to quiet their inner critic and live their life boldly without second guessing.

I love being able to help women step into their purpose after things have been derailed by trauma. Let’s work together to get things back on track with trauma therapy. You deserve to live a life unburdened from trauma and I would love to help you get there.

Ready to start this transformative work? Visit my website to learn more about me and schedule a free consultation to see if we are a great fit.

Not looking for trauma therapy. I offer a variety of counseling services for Women of Color and helping professionals. I specialize in helping women get a handle of anxiety and perfectionism and resisting shrinking themselves to make others comfortable so they can be their best selves. All these services are available online throughout the state of California, Georgia and Florida around your busy schedule. Schedule a consultation today.

References

(2024). About EMDR Therapy. EMDR International Association. Retrieved January 23, 2024, from https://www.emdria.org/ 

(2024). SE 101. Somatic Experiencing International. Retrieved January 23, 2024, from https://traumahealing.org/

(2024). What is Sensorimotor Psychotherapy? Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute. Retrieved January 23, 2024, from https://sensorimotorpsychotherapy.org